Bad joke at the classifieds

ME: Journal Star Classifieds, this is Gray

Man: Whadya say your name is?

ME: Gray...its like the color

Man: Man thats weird!! But its unique, huh?

ME: yep

Man: Say, do you know how to catch a "unique" rabbit?

ME: no

Man: U--"NeeK" up on it...hahahah

Me: Oh (fake laughter)

Man: Thats a good clean joke you can tell your kids.

I told my superviser the joke and she said she knew it from grade school. Can you think of a worse joke...especially to tell your kids. No, my kids will know real humor.

What if you were caught at "just the right time"

Take a look at these pictures. Some of you may have seen these, but I couldn't stop laughing!

Pictures taken at just the right time!


HT: Byrnesys Blabberings

3 Common objections to getting google reader and why they're wrong!

1. "...But I don't really know what google reader is or how to set it up."

This is a common objection and, lucky for you, there is an easy answer. Abraham Piper has a very helpful post on how to set up a google reader that will tell you everything you need to know (Thanks Jake!)

2. "...But I like going to blogs, I don't want to read everything on a small screen" (sorry Jacob, I got this one from you)

Well quit your whining and get a google reader anyway. It doesn't mean you can't go to blogs anymore. Reader is well worth it even if you only use it as a reference tool. I'm willing to bet that everyone who reads blogs likes reading one or two that only update once or twice a month. Reader will let you know when it has been updated and then you can feel free to go to the site to actually read it.

3. "...But I don't want something else to distract me from the really important things in my life, and spend my time soaking up useless information from the World Wide Web from websites which, before I stumbled accross them, I didn't even know or care that they existed..."

Ok, well you have a point there. Just remember spiderman: "with great power comes great responsibility." I don't want anyone to neglect their studies, their wives, or their work for a little extra NPR news! But, seriously, everyone should get it.

Out of the woodwork

Last night Bekah and I spent some time in fellowship with a small group group of Christians who are involved in the Redeemer Church plant here in Lincoln. The time reminded me of how prevalent brokenness is in our world, in our Church. Usually, all it takes is one or two people who are willing to be vulnerable about their lives; then people seem to spill over with all of their problems. Who knew that so much divorce, marriage/family problems, illegitimate children, addictions (past and present), and financial woes could exist in 10 very clean-cut looking Christians? And how amazing is it for it all to come out of the woodwork into the light of day? People looked relieved, comforted, understood and closer to one another. It was amazing how free flowing it was once it got started.

You know that feeling of being ashamed of your roots?

A highschool in Charleston, Mississippi held its first interracial prom recently! Wow. NPR has the story.

It has only taken 38 years since the schools in MS were forcefully integrated for it to actually have a prom where everyone was invited. Of course there was some community uprisings, and of course there were some white parents who wouldn't let their children go, and I'm sure there were some threats to the principal, but progress is progress.

In the face of death...

...people do different things. What is it that drives some to live life to the fullest, some to party harder, some to become philanthropic, some to repent, some to work harder than they have ever worked before...?

According to The New York Times, the actor Patrick Swayze (Dirty Dancing, Ghost) has been diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. Seemingly, the thing that drives him is finishing the role that he plays in his current TV show "The Beast" where he is playing a wise older cop with a sketchy past. Swayze says that his character in the show is "multilayered, unpredictable, and downright entertaining" and he indicated that he had been searching for this type of character for a long time. He is leaving his doctors at Stanford and traveling accross the country to film the show.

What drives this man? Is it a lasting impression? A namesake? A genuine love of acting? Certainly his desire to work and produce good drama until his death is admirable, but something in his attitude makes me uncomfortable. He says, "I'm in great condition. I'm a cowboy. I'm a dancer. I'll beat this."

I'm glad he is not "eating and drinking for tomorrow we die," but is there any time for reflection of purpose, for reconcilliation, for repentance (no knowledge of his spiritual state). This might be the very last thing he ever does. Indeed, it may kill him. The "Living like you're dying" sentiment is an interesting one and I'm not sure that it is biblical, but you have to wonder what he is thinking. Don't you?

Just so everyone knows...

...I hugged josh ritter twice last weekend.  I'm not talking about side hugs or even the "grab hands and bump chest kind of 'guy hug.'"  I am talking about real, full-frontal hugs.  His concert was amazing and we talked briefly about Colonel Mustard, medieval history, and the building of St. Petersburg after the show. Yeah, we are tight now.

new tunes

I have an album recommendation. The other day,  my friend Ryan handed me the Cd case for Beck's album Sea Change and told me that he thought I would like it. Well, I just about fell in love with it. I listened to it off and on for 24 hours and then handed it back to him so I could get my own copy.  This album is old news.  It was recorded and produced in 2002 (#5 on critics choice in 2002).  It was produced by the famous Nigel Godrich (Radiohead,  Paul McCartney, etc.) Still, I had never given it a listen.

Anybody that knows anything about Beck knows that he has many different styles.  This album is really laid back.  It is primarily an acoustic album with a certain degree of ambiance.  It is kind of a heavy album, deeply emotive and melodic. I'm convinced that one of the reasons it so deeply clicked with me is because of the last couple of overcast days and the rainy atmosphere. 

I'm recommending the album, but I want everyone who buys it on my recommendation to buy it and listen to it for the first time when it is either rainy, overcast, or at night.  It will strike a beautiful chord within you, I guarantee.  I don't know if an album has ever influenced me so much in only 3 days.

Worship music should be good, but not too good

A post over at Semper Reformanda has got me thinking about the quality of worship music again. I have always been of the opinion that part of what glorifies God in worship is not only the words being sung, but also the skill with which the songs are played (ie David's exhortation to "play skillfully before the Lord").  God is glorified when we know how to make good music, no question.  But how good can worship music really be?

The fact is that worship music has limitations, and these limitations are a blessing.  For instance, good worship songs are singable and easy for people to learn quickly. The songs are both immediate and universal so that the singer can take what is being sung and use it to edify themselves and build up the Church. This leaves little room for performance because the worship leader must automatically ask introspective questions like "is this helpful"  "is it distracting" "why exactly are we doing this."  These questions need not be asked for non-church musicians because the easy answer is that they are trying to make the most impressive sounds possible...and for that we are thankful, because we all like good sounds.

When it comes to the church though, people are looking for edification, solidarity with believers, and something different. No church that I know of can provide entertainment like going to a Decemberists concert.  Most people/churches that try to mix really good, entertaining music with church music usually end up on the CCM charts and ruin both genres.  But the point is that people increasingly are not looking for that kind of entertainment in churches.  There is a general disenchantment with churches that have faux worship that is trying to appeal to the masses.

Even if its less good, or hardly good at all, people will appreciate a genuine attempt at meaty worship music.  We should produce music that is relevant and regional.  We should spend time on the best chord progressions, interludes, key changes and even solos.  But, overall, we should try to produce good music insofar as it helps people open their mouths, engage their minds and incline their hearts. 

Have you walked the Roman Road...

Today marks the second time that I have come across a "Roman Road" pamphlet in the bathrooms on Campus.  The first time was in the CBA building, the second time was in a bathroom in Nebraska Hall which is all the way across campus.  Who is putting these evangelistic pamphlets in the bathrooms everywhere???

This kind of evangelism reminds me of those types who are always pushing for conversion and a subsequent testimony.  My thought: These people are shooting themselves in the foot.  I mean, who wants a testimony that involves a toilet.

I propose a new kind of pamphlet that should be used specifically for bathrooms everywhere. We could call it "The Call of Nature and the Call of Christ." 

A real cure for the hiccups

I had an almost violent attack of hiccups this evening.  After about 20 minutes, I decided to take action.  So I googled "how to get rid of hiccups" and clicked on the first link.  It was a short video on 5 things that you can do  to get rid of your hiccups.  

The very first suggestion on the list worked for me.  All you have to do is swallow a teaspoon of dry sugar (don't drink anything).  A study showed that this technique worked for 19 out of 20 people.  I have always been skeptical of this treatment so I made sure that I still had the hiccups before I took the sugar.  After a very large hiccup, I downed the sugar and my hiccups went away. Amazing!

I now have a slight stomach ache from the spoonful of sugar, but no hiccups.

Hermeneutics Quiz

I just took the hermeneutics quiz created by Scot McNight. It was an interesting assessment and I actually appreciated the way that it was set up. Like any 20 question quiz that is intended to define who you are, there were limitations. But I cringed far less during this quiz than I usually do when I mark answers.

The quiz is scaled from 1 - 100. Interestingly, I scored a 53 which is the very first number in the "moderate" category. I'm really quite surprised that I didn't fall into a conservative category, but I guess that it was a close call.

Mostly the quiz asks questions about the relationship between the old and new testaments (covenants) and whether we understand the Bible more systematically or communally. There were also some questions about how we interpret some "hard" biblical passages like women's roles and homosexuality. Take the quiz HERE

I felt like I was in an Indie film

Our department at the Lincoln Journal Star handles the obituaries among other things. I had a really interesting moment the other day with a middle-aged lady who writes obituaries for us. I was standing beside the fax machine waiting for a copy and she came up beside me.

Obit Lady: "I am a horrible person"


Me: " Why?"


OL: "Because I get these obituary requests, and I just laugh at them. I mean, I laugh at these dead people."

Me: "oh"

OL: "I mean, just the other day. I got an obit for a lady with the last name "Coffin" and I just couldn't stop laughing. I just kept laughin' and laughin' "


Me: "Oh...really" (seriously, what do you say?)


OL: "And then there is this" (she shows me a picture of a lady, recently deceased. It was an obit that I had just handed her from the fax machine.) "Look at this lady, she has this ridiculous red lipstick on....(she trails off) I mean she looks like my Grandma."


Then she sat back down at her desk.

Life as a tragicomedy. This lady works full time with us, so she is writing about dead people, seeing their pictures, and talking to their families for 40 hours every week. Her situation is understandable, she must find humor in her everyday life just like the rest of us. In general, though, its strange how the things that hurt us the most also have the ability to make us laugh the hardest. Some people say that we have to laugh to shield ourselves from the reality of completely harsh world. Obviously, I don't think that our situation is that hopeless. But the reality is that we live in a broken world, so I can certainly relate.

For those of us who love hymns

I have added some links to some great worship resources.  Check them out under my new "Worship Resources" category on the side.  Here are some brief explanations.

Cardiphonia: This is the worship site of modern hymn writer/re-writer Nathan Partain. Nathan is the Pastor of Worship and the Arts (an awesome job title if you ask me) at Redeemer Church in Indianapolis.  This site has lots of new hymns written by Nathan and others and has a lot of audio, lyrics, and lead sheets.  

Cyber hymnal: This is really cool (albeit nerdy).  This site has over 6,000 hymn titles.  On most of the songs they have the melody playing when you click on the title and info on the author as well as the composer of the melody.  Its kind of an outdated site...but its huge.

Semper Reformanda Records: This is the site of Brian Thomas, a worship leader at Kaleo Church in Seattle.  I like reading his blog about worship music and the site has some good links and audio.

Isn't worship music cool?  Enjoy.

Indecision

Most of my friends are reactionary people.  When it comes to theology, they are reactionary theologians.  This doesn't necessarily  mean that they are reckless or whimsical.  What I mean is that they inundate themselves with a steady flow of ideas and immediately or almost immediately react with either a positive or negative response.  They almost always end up qualifying their first reaction or sometimes completely abandon it, but in the short term, they readjust the lens of their worldview to reflect their new ideas.  In other words, they quickly resort to a decision about a given topic.

I am not this way.  I seem to almost always fall back to indecision.  I'm a perpetual fence rider.  I have been identified as the "middle man" in countless of my friends' religious and political discussions.  Lately, I have been thinking that I need to be more reactionary.  I do think that indecision does have benefits.  It helps you lead a more careful life, and keeps you from often making your brothers and sisters stumble.  But leading a life that is characterized by indecision has at least a couple of negative side effects:

1. It makes the world impossibly complex.  I sometimes feel like I am unqualified to talk about anything because I have not read every book on the subject.  My typical way of approaching theological issues is that I must read at least one book on each side of an argument.  Then I need to talk to pastors on the varying sides and see what they agree and disagree about.  This is certainly a wise choice of action in some very important matters, but if your life is characterized by this method of research, you will drown in a sea of complexity-- never feeling any accomplishment.

2. It leads to a kind of pride.  I don't like being wrong.  I often feel uncertain about saying something because I might change my mind in the months that follow and feel foolish that I identified myself with the wrong group.  Their is safety in indecision, no one thinks that you went out on a limb.

Once again, I am not saying that we should be carried away by every wind of doctrine.  I just think that we can interface with this Christian life a lot better if we allow ourselves to take hold of a new ideas and quickly categorize them.  Then we are free to move on with our lives while slowly digesting the decisions we have made. 

eye of the storm

In comparison to today's stormy, windy, and utterly terrible weather, yesterday's 50 degrees seems like paradise.  Yesterday was like the eye of the storm, a moment of peace that is both enjoyable in its own right, but also terrible in that it sets up the contrast of what's to come.

Remembering that all will be made right one day is an eye of the storm.  This world is broken. We can see its effects everywhere.  One day we will be in heaven and there will be no brokenness, and all of the effects of the fall will be reversed, including the cold weather.  Because the new earth is, of course, completely a temperate zone.

I will not gaze at glory?

I have been thinking about the words to one of my favorite RUF songs The Sands of Time are Sinking.  I love this song.  It has good words and a catchy folk/bluegrass ballad feel.  But the words of the next to last stanza always have struck me as funny.

The bride eyes not her garments

But her dear Bridegroom's face

I will not gaze at glory, but on my King of grace

Not at the crown he giveth, but on his pierced hand

The Lamb is all the glory of Emmanuel's land

The analogy of the stanza is clear.  In the same way that a bride's garments are secondary to her ability to actually look into the face of her loving husband on her wedding day, so we, when we are in heaven, will have eyes only for our Savior and not for any of the trappings.  I understand the sentiment, but I think that the use of "glory" should be questioned.   Is the glory of God meant as a bit of flare that has the potential to distract us from our "King of Grace."

Perhaps this phrase arose from using "glory" in the sense of the physical paradise of heaven, such as in the phrase "I am heading for glory" (most likely said with a southern accent!) This brings up images of golden streets and jewels and a mighty, unconquerable city.  These images are likely poetic.  But aside from that, the city of heaven is glorious not because of the city itself, but because God's glory shines through it.  Therefore, "glory" is a term that refers to God's presence in heaven, not the actual place. 

I would argue that the glory of God is a distinct and necessary part of God's character.  To look at God's glory is to look at who he is, not merely some extra pizzaz that seems to follow him around wherever he appears.  Moses asks God to "show me Your glory."  God didn't say back to him "don't look at my glory, look at my face!!!"  To look at God's glory is to look at him.

I guess I just don't understand the use of the phrase "I will not gaze at glory".  After all, the song also states "The lamb is all the glory of Emmanuel's Land." 

35 years

Today marks the 35th anniversary of Roe v Wade, the landmark case where the Supreme Court violated states' rights and unconstitutionally made abortion legal in all states.  Overall, there have been approximately 49 million abortions in the United States.   

Let us mourn and pray.

funny hebrew connections

It looks like my Hebrew class is going to have only 3 people in it this semester.  That means more than 10 people dropped from last semester's intro class.  At this rate, I might be the only person taking Hebrew III and IV over the next year.

Thinking about this made me think about not wanting to be alone in my Hebrew class.  Then I thought of the Hebrew word for "being alone" which is BAD...pronounced with a long "a".  (Read this as "Being alone in Hebrew is BAD").  Of course, the hebrew and english have nothing to do with each other, but it is a funny coincidence for me.  

Then I thought of a couple of other funny ones.  Such as the hebrew word for "she" is pronounced HE in Hebrew. And the Hebrew word for prince or ruler is TSAR which sounds like the Roman or Russian "tsar" or "czar" both of which come from "Caesar."  This last one might have some connection, but I doubt it.

Catching up...again

Seems like whenever I get rolling on my blogging, some new life-changing event happens and I am compelled to take a respite.  I hope to post pretty regularly this semester.  The goal is 2-3 times a week.  Even this will be a challenge as I am planning a wedding, working twenty hours, and trying to be a (good) full time student.  I can't possibly put out all that I have been thinking in the last couple of months but here are some tidbits, music and books all thrown together:

I am engaged to be married on May 24, 2008 to the lovely Rebekah Banks.  Bekah is a constant reminder that God is gracious to undeserving sinners...even in giving them beautiful wives they don't deserve.

My music preferences have definitely shifted over to melody driven rock and indie music. Check out Aqualung, a british one-man-band that is really interesting.  He has an awesome voice and the music is just cool.  It is basically electronica with sparse piano bits and drum machines, but really rockin' guitars.  Also, for some reason, I have been drawn to Derek Webb's most recent album The Ringing Bell.  Although I wrote a pretty negative music review previously, the album has really grown on me. Check it out.

I am reading a couple of books.  Rachel Banks, my fiancee's sister, bought me Church History in Plain Language by Bruce Shelley for Christmas.  It is basically a 500 pg history of the Christian church, starting with the teaching's of Jesus.  Its good so far...just  50 pages into it.  I'm also reading the novel The Road by Cormac McCarthy.  It has a post apocalyptic setting and is pretty dark.  The author has been heralded as the "next Faulkner..."

I have also been flipping through a really sweet 1940 Episcopal Hymnal.  I bought it in an awesome used book store in St. Louis over Christmas break.  Its cool because it has all the words to the songs and a simple melody line written with each one.  All you have to do is plink out the simple melodies on the piano and you can sing some really obscure hymns.  

Additionally, I have been thinking tons about worship, both in theory and practically.  Hopefully more posts on that soon.