I am not this way. I seem to almost always fall back to indecision. I'm a perpetual fence rider. I have been identified as the "middle man" in countless of my friends' religious and political discussions. Lately, I have been thinking that I need to be more reactionary. I do think that indecision does have benefits. It helps you lead a more careful life, and keeps you from often making your brothers and sisters stumble. But leading a life that is characterized by indecision has at least a couple of negative side effects:
1. It makes the world impossibly complex. I sometimes feel like I am unqualified to talk about anything because I have not read every book on the subject. My typical way of approaching theological issues is that I must read at least one book on each side of an argument. Then I need to talk to pastors on the varying sides and see what they agree and disagree about. This is certainly a wise choice of action in some very important matters, but if your life is characterized by this method of research, you will drown in a sea of complexity-- never feeling any accomplishment.
2. It leads to a kind of pride. I don't like being wrong. I often feel uncertain about saying something because I might change my mind in the months that follow and feel foolish that I identified myself with the wrong group. Their is safety in indecision, no one thinks that you went out on a limb.
Once again, I am not saying that we should be carried away by every wind of doctrine. I just think that we can interface with this Christian life a lot better if we allow ourselves to take hold of a new ideas and quickly categorize them. Then we are free to move on with our lives while slowly digesting the decisions we have made.
3 comments:
The whole "feeling unqualified to talk about something because I haven't read every book about it" is a very familiar feeling to me as well.
I often find myself identifying so strongly with with certain points on both sides of the issue that I am left feeling somewhat helpless.
Great thoughts Gray. I think we're all working toward being able to balance the right sort of decisiveness without becoming mere (over)reactionaries. Personally, I've always appreciated this trait in you (I tend to think of it more as "thoughtfulness" than "indecisiveness" :) ), but I think I can see where you're coming from in wanting to be more decisive. It's a good thing to be thinking about :).
Gray,
I'm shocked that you don't realize that us "reactionaries" are actually always exactly right as soon as we seize on an idea!
Seriously, I think its a question of how you learn and process better. Since I know I'm one of the people you're talking about, I should clarify that I usually take positions quickly and argue for them because its easier for me to test it that way. I've definately had conversations in which I switched my position mid-stride and ended up strongly arguing against myself :) The trick, I think, is to know how you're processing - that is, recognize that if you default to an idea, it is still one you haven't thought well about.
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