Most of what I do at the Lincoln Journal Star is business over the phone. Usually, it follows a formula: The customer calls, I take their classified ad, I get payment from them, repeat. Occasionally, I get some really interesting calls.
This is a synopsis of one conversation I had with a lady today:
ME: "Journal Star Classifieds, this is Gray"
LADY: "Hello, my name is ______ and I have received a REVELATION. "
ME: "Ummm... ok"
LADY: "I have received a revelation from the Lord. He told me that every child in the Lincoln Public Schools needs to say the Lord's prayer at 8:00 on Halloween. This is what the Lord said, Children need to know the Lord's prayer and he wants them to say it on Halloween. If this happens, then we can prevent all of the "Woes" spoken of in the book of Revelation. You see, I believe that I am the INCARNATE EVE. In the garden, It was not Adam who was tempted. It was Eve who was tempted, and...."
ME: (Interrupting) "Umm...Ma'am. I'm sorry but did you want to place a Classified Ad."
LADY: (hesitating) Well, how much would it cost me to put this in the paper.
ME: Well, that depends. When did you want this to run.
LADY: It needs to go in tomorrow. We need to get it in there. Children only have 3 weeks to learn the Lord's prayer before halloween. (Then launches back into the prophecy again.)
ME: Well, for an announcement like this, we have to run it on our regular rates. One day will be $28.96. Would you like to place the Ad?
LADY: I will need to consult Gen____ (some name that started with a "G" or a "J"...it sounded to me like it was some kind of spirit guide or angel). I will find out if she wants to run it and call you back.
ME: Ok, thanks, bye.
Times have changed since Isaiah and Jeremiah were prophets. Now prophecy works through mass communication...and it operates on a budget.
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3 comments:
its so strange (and awesome) to see people confessing that they love God and making it such an easy part of their daily lives (especially writing it on their blogs). loving God was never meant to be a burden. you are very cool and very awesome. keep on writing (btw, blue like jazz is a GREAT book)
my dad had an encounter like that once. he was on a psych rotation in med school and a patient tried to convince him he was jesus. my dad learned that psych patients get angry and violent when you don't agree.
Holy crap, Gray, that's hilarious! I haven't had any conversations nearly that entertaining...
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