A Lack of Color

Bad joke at the classifieds

2008-08-26T18:23:00.003-04:00

ME: Journal Star Classifieds, this is Gray

Man: Whadya say your name is?

ME: Gray...its like the color

Man: Man thats weird!! But its unique, huh?

ME: yep

Man: Say, do you know how to catch a "unique" rabbit?

ME: no

Man: U--"NeeK" up on it...hahahah

Me: Oh (fake laughter)

Man: Thats a good clean joke you can tell your kids.

I told my superviser the joke and she said she knew it from grade school. Can you think of a worse joke...especially to tell your kids. No, my kids will know real humor.

What if you were caught at "just the right time"

2008-08-20T16:14:00.002-04:00

Take a look at these pictures. Some of you may have seen these, but I couldn't stop laughing!

Pictures taken at just the right time!

HT: Byrnesys Blabberings

3 Common objections to getting google reader and why they're wrong!

2008-06-18T15:17:00.003-04:00

1. "...But I don't really know what google reader is or how to set it up."

This is a common objection and, lucky for you, there is an easy answer. Abraham Piper has a very helpful post on how to set up a google reader that will tell you everything you need to know (Thanks Jake!)

2. "...But I like going to blogs, I don't want to read everything on a small screen" (sorry Jacob, I got this one from you)

Well quit your whining and get a google reader anyway. It doesn't mean you can't go to blogs anymore. Reader is well worth it even if you only use it as a reference tool. I'm willing to bet that everyone who reads blogs likes reading one or two that only update once or twice a month. Reader will let you know when it has been updated and then you can feel free to go to the site to actually read it.

3. "...But I don't want something else to distract me from the really important things in my life, and spend my time soaking up useless information from the World Wide Web from websites which, before I stumbled accross them, I didn't even know or care that they existed..."

Ok, well you have a point there. Just remember spiderman: "with great power comes great responsibility." I don't want anyone to neglect their studies, their wives, or their work for a little extra NPR news! But, seriously, everyone should get it.

Out of the woodwork

2008-06-17T15:08:00.003-04:00

Last night Bekah and I spent some time in fellowship with a small group group of Christians who are involved in the Redeemer Church plant here in Lincoln. The time reminded me of how prevalent brokenness is in our world, in our Church. Usually, all it takes is one or two people who are willing to be vulnerable about their lives; then people seem to spill over with all of their problems. Who knew that so much divorce, marriage/family problems, illegitimate children, addictions (past and present), and financial woes could exist in 10 very clean-cut looking Christians? And how amazing is it for it all to come out of the woodwork into the light of day? People looked relieved, comforted, understood and closer to one another. It was amazing how free flowing it was once it got started.

You know that feeling of being ashamed of your roots?

2008-06-11T12:47:00.003-04:00

A highschool in Charleston, Mississippi held its first interracial prom recently! Wow. NPR has the story.

It has only taken 38 years since the schools in MS were forcefully integrated for it to actually have a prom where everyone was invited. Of course there was some community uprisings, and of course there were some white parents who wouldn't let their children go, and I'm sure there were some threats to the principal, but progress is progress.

In the face of death...

2008-06-10T14:39:00.002-04:00

...people do different things. What is it that drives some to live life to the fullest, some to party harder, some to become philanthropic, some to repent, some to work harder than they have ever worked before...?

According to The New York Times, the actor Patrick Swayze (Dirty Dancing, Ghost) has been diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. Seemingly, the thing that drives him is finishing the role that he plays in his current TV show "The Beast" where he is playing a wise older cop with a sketchy past. Swayze says that his character in the show is "multilayered, unpredictable, and downright entertaining" and he indicated that he had been searching for this type of character for a long time. He is leaving his doctors at Stanford and traveling accross the country to film the show.

What drives this man? Is it a lasting impression? A namesake? A genuine love of acting? Certainly his desire to work and produce good drama until his death is admirable, but something in his attitude makes me uncomfortable. He says, "I'm in great condition. I'm a cowboy. I'm a dancer. I'll beat this."

I'm glad he is not "eating and drinking for tomorrow we die," but is there any time for reflection of purpose, for reconcilliation, for repentance (no knowledge of his spiritual state). This might be the very last thing he ever does. Indeed, it may kill him. The "Living like you're dying" sentiment is an interesting one and I'm not sure that it is biblical, but you have to wonder what he is thinking. Don't you?

Just so everyone knows...

2008-05-17T23:46:00.003-04:00

...I hugged josh ritter twice last weekend. I'm not talking about side hugs or even the "grab hands and bump chest kind of 'guy hug.'" I am talking about real, full-frontal hugs. His concert was amazing and we talked briefly about Colonel Mustard, medieval history, and the building of St. Petersburg after the show. Yeah, we are tight now.

new tunes

2008-04-26T13:14:00.003-04:00

I have an album recommendation. The other day, my friend Ryan handed me the Cd case for Beck's album Sea Change and told me that he thought I would like it. Well, I just about fell in love with it. I listened to it off and on for 24 hours and then handed it back to him so I could get my own copy. This album is old news. It was recorded and produced in 2002 (#5 on critics choice in 2002). It was produced by the famous Nigel Godrich (Radiohead, Paul McCartney, etc.) Still, I had never given it a listen.

Anybody that knows anything about Beck knows that he has many different styles. This album is really laid back. It is primarily an acoustic album with a certain degree of ambiance. It is kind of a heavy album, deeply emotive and melodic. I'm convinced that one of the reasons it so deeply clicked with me is because of the last couple of overcast days and the rainy atmosphere.

I'm recommending the album, but I want everyone who buys it on my recommendation to buy it and listen to it for the first time when it is either rainy, overcast, or at night. It will strike a beautiful chord within you, I guarantee. I don't know if an album has ever influenced me so much in only 3 days.

Worship music should be good, but not too good

2008-03-17T00:36:00.003-04:00

A post over at Semper Reformanda has got me thinking about the quality of worship music again. I have always been of the opinion that part of what glorifies God in worship is not only the words being sung, but also the skill with which the songs are played (ie David's exhortation to "play skillfully before the Lord"). God is glorified when we know how to make good music, no question. But how good can worship music really be?

The fact is that worship music has limitations, and these limitations are a blessing. For instance, good worship songs are singable and easy for people to learn quickly. The songs are both immediate and universal so that the singer can take what is being sung and use it to edify themselves and build up the Church. This leaves little room for performance because the worship leader must automatically ask introspective questions like "is this helpful" "is it distracting" "why exactly are we doing this." These questions need not be asked for non-church musicians because the easy answer is that they are trying to make the most impressive sounds possible...and for that we are thankful, because we all like good sounds.

When it comes to the church though, people are looking for edification, solidarity with believers, and something different. No church that I know of can provide entertainment like going to a Decemberists concert. Most people/churches that try to mix really good, entertaining music with church music usually end up on the CCM charts and ruin both genres. But the point is that people increasingly are not looking for that kind of entertainment in churches. There is a general disenchantment with churches that have faux worship that is trying to appeal to the masses.

Even if its less good, or hardly good at all, people will appreciate a genuine attempt at meaty worship music. We should produce music that is relevant and regional. We should spend time on the best chord progressions, interludes, key changes and even solos. But, overall, we should try to produce good music insofar as it helps people open their mouths, engage their minds and incline their hearts.

Have you walked the Roman Road...

2008-03-13T10:49:00.004-05:00

Today marks the second time that I have come across a "Roman Road" pamphlet in the bathrooms on Campus. The first time was in the CBA building, the second time was in a bathroom in Nebraska Hall which is all the way across campus. Who is putting these evangelistic pamphlets in the bathrooms everywhere???

This kind of evangelism reminds me of those types who are always pushing for conversion and a subsequent testimony. My thought: These people are shooting themselves in the foot. I mean, who wants a testimony that involves a toilet.

I propose a new kind of pamphlet that should be used specifically for bathrooms everywhere. We could call it "The Call of Nature and the Call of Christ."

A real cure for the hiccups

2008-03-04T00:11:00.003-05:00

I had an almost violent attack of hiccups this evening. After about 20 minutes, I decided to take action. So I googled "how to get rid of hiccups" and clicked on the first link. It was a short video on 5 things that you can do to get rid of your hiccups.

The very first suggestion on the list worked for me. All you have to do is swallow a teaspoon of dry sugar (don't drink anything). A study showed that this technique worked for 19 out of 20 people. I have always been skeptical of this treatment so I made sure that I still had the hiccups before I took the sugar. After a very large hiccup, I downed the sugar and my hiccups went away. Amazing!

I now have a slight stomach ache from the spoonful of sugar, but no hiccups.

Hermeneutics Quiz

2008-02-29T18:09:00.002-05:00

I just took the hermeneutics quiz created by Scot McNight. It was an interesting assessment and I actually appreciated the way that it was set up. Like any 20 question quiz that is intended to define who you are, there were limitations. But I cringed far less during this quiz than I usually do when I mark answers.

The quiz is scaled from 1 - 100. Interestingly, I scored a 53 which is the very first number in the "moderate" category. I'm really quite surprised that I didn't fall into a conservative category, but I guess that it was a close call.

Mostly the quiz asks questions about the relationship between the old and new testaments (covenants) and whether we understand the Bible more systematically or communally. There were also some questions about how we interpret some "hard" biblical passages like women's roles and homosexuality. Take the quiz HERE

I felt like I was in an Indie film

2008-02-22T13:10:00.006-05:00

Our department at the Lincoln Journal Star handles the obituaries among other things. I had a really interesting moment the other day with a middle-aged lady who writes obituaries for us. I was standing beside the fax machine waiting for a copy and she came up beside me.

Obit Lady: "I am a horrible person"

Me: " Why?"

OL: "Because I get these obituary requests, and I just laugh at them. I mean, I laugh at these dead people."

Me: "oh"

OL: "I mean, just the other day. I got an obit for a lady with the last name "Coffin" and I just couldn't stop laughing. I just kept laughin' and laughin' "

Me: "Oh...really" (seriously, what do you say?)

OL: "And then there is this" (she shows me a picture of a lady, recently deceased. It was an obit that I had just handed her from the fax machine.) "Look at this lady, she has this ridiculous red lipstick on....(she trails off) I mean she looks like my Grandma."

Then she sat back down at her desk.

Life as a tragicomedy. This lady works full time with us, so she is writing about dead people, seeing their pictures, and talking to their families for 40 hours every week. Her situation is understandable, she must find humor in her everyday life just like the rest of us. In general, though, its strange how the things that hurt us the most also have the ability to make us laugh the hardest. Some people say that we have to laugh to shield ourselves from the reality of completely harsh world. Obviously, I don't think that our situation is that hopeless. But the reality is that we live in a broken world, so I can certainly relate.

For those of us who love hymns

2008-02-10T18:51:00.000-05:00

I have added some links to some great worship resources. Check them out under my new "Worship Resources" category on the side. Here are some brief explanations.

Cardiphonia: This is the worship site of modern hymn writer/re-writer Nathan Partain. Nathan is the Pastor of Worship and the Arts (an awesome job title if you ask me) at Redeemer Church in Indianapolis. This site has lots of new hymns written by Nathan and others and has a lot of audio, lyrics, and lead sheets.

Cyber hymnal: This is really cool (albeit nerdy). This site has over 6,000 hymn titles. On most of the songs they have the melody playing when you click on the title and info on the author as well as the composer of the melody. Its kind of an outdated site...but its huge.

Semper Reformanda Records: This is the site of Brian Thomas, a worship leader at Kaleo Church in Seattle. I like reading his blog about worship music and the site has some good links and audio.

Isn't worship music cool? Enjoy.

Indecision

2008-02-03T23:12:00.000-05:00

Most of my friends are reactionary people. When it comes to theology, they are reactionary theologians. This doesn't necessarily mean that they are reckless or whimsical. What I mean is that they inundate themselves with a steady flow of ideas and immediately or almost immediately react with either a positive or negative response. They almost always end up qualifying their first reaction or sometimes completely abandon it, but in the short term, they readjust the lens of their worldview to reflect their new ideas. In other words, they quickly resort to a decision about a given topic.

I am not this way. I seem to almost always fall back to indecision. I'm a perpetual fence rider. I have been identified as the "middle man" in countless of my friends' religious and political discussions. Lately, I have been thinking that I need to be more reactionary. I do think that indecision does have benefits. It helps you lead a more careful life, and keeps you from often making your brothers and sisters stumble. But leading a life that is characterized by indecision has at least a couple of negative side effects:

1. It makes the world impossibly complex. I sometimes feel like I am unqualified to talk about anything because I have not read every book on the subject. My typical way of approaching theological issues is that I must read at least one book on each side of an argument. Then I need to talk to pastors on the varying sides and see what they agree and disagree about. This is certainly a wise choice of action in some very important matters, but if your life is characterized by this method of research, you will drown in a sea of complexity-- never feeling any accomplishment.

2. It leads to a kind of pride. I don't like being wrong. I often feel uncertain about saying something because I might change my mind in the months that follow and feel foolish that I identified myself with the wrong group. Their is safety in indecision, no one thinks that you went out on a limb.

Once again, I am not saying that we should be carried away by every wind of doctrine. I just think that we can interface with this Christian life a lot better if we allow ourselves to take hold of a new ideas and quickly categorize them. Then we are free to move on with our lives while slowly digesting the decisions we have made.

eye of the storm

2008-01-29T11:47:00.000-05:00

In comparison to today's stormy, windy, and utterly terrible weather, yesterday's 50 degrees seems like paradise. Yesterday was like the eye of the storm, a moment of peace that is both enjoyable in its own right, but also terrible in that it sets up the contrast of what's to come.

Remembering that all will be made right one day is an eye of the storm. This world is broken. We can see its effects everywhere. One day we will be in heaven and there will be no brokenness, and all of the effects of the fall will be reversed, including the cold weather. Because the new earth is, of course, completely a temperate zone.

I will not gaze at glory?

2008-01-27T19:37:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking about the words to one of my favorite RUF songs The Sands of Time are Sinking. I love this song. It has good words and a catchy folk/bluegrass ballad feel. But the words of the next to last stanza always have struck me as funny.

The bride eyes not her garments

But her dear Bridegroom's face

I will not gaze at glory, but on my King of grace

Not at the crown he giveth, but on his pierced hand

The Lamb is all the glory of Emmanuel's land

The analogy of the stanza is clear. In the same way that a bride's garments are secondary to her ability to actually look into the face of her loving husband on her wedding day, so we, when we are in heaven, will have eyes only for our Savior and not for any of the trappings. I understand the sentiment, but I think that the use of "glory" should be questioned. Is the glory of God meant as a bit of flare that has the potential to distract us from our "King of Grace."

Perhaps this phrase arose from using "glory" in the sense of the physical paradise of heaven, such as in the phrase "I am heading for glory" (most likely said with a southern accent!) This brings up images of golden streets and jewels and a mighty, unconquerable city. These images are likely poetic. But aside from that, the city of heaven is glorious not because of the city itself, but because God's glory shines through it. Therefore, "glory" is a term that refers to God's presence in heaven, not the actual place.

I would argue that the glory of God is a distinct and necessary part of God's character. To look at God's glory is to look at who he is, not merely some extra pizzaz that seems to follow him around wherever he appears. Moses asks God to "show me Your glory." God didn't say back to him "don't look at my glory, look at my face!!!" To look at God's glory is to look at him.

I guess I just don't understand the use of the phrase "I will not gaze at glory". After all, the song also states "The lamb is all the glory of Emmanuel's Land."

35 years

2008-01-22T09:18:00.000-05:00

Today marks the 35th anniversary of Roe v Wade, the landmark case where the Supreme Court violated states' rights and unconstitutionally made abortion legal in all states. Overall, there have been approximately 49 million abortions in the United States.

Let us mourn and pray.

funny hebrew connections

2008-01-14T20:49:00.001-05:00

It looks like my Hebrew class is going to have only 3 people in it this semester. That means more than 10 people dropped from last semester's intro class. At this rate, I might be the only person taking Hebrew III and IV over the next year.

Thinking about this made me think about not wanting to be alone in my Hebrew class. Then I thought of the Hebrew word for "being alone" which is BAD...pronounced with a long "a". (Read this as "Being alone in Hebrew is BAD"). Of course, the hebrew and english have nothing to do with each other, but it is a funny coincidence for me.

Then I thought of a couple of other funny ones. Such as the hebrew word for "she" is pronounced HE in Hebrew. And the Hebrew word for prince or ruler is TSAR which sounds like the Roman or Russian "tsar" or "czar" both of which come from "Caesar." This last one might have some connection, but I doubt it.

Catching up...again

2008-01-13T19:07:00.000-05:00

Seems like whenever I get rolling on my blogging, some new life-changing event happens and I am compelled to take a respite. I hope to post pretty regularly this semester. The goal is 2-3 times a week. Even this will be a challenge as I am planning a wedding, working twenty hours, and trying to be a (good) full time student. I can't possibly put out all that I have been thinking in the last couple of months but here are some tidbits, music and books all thrown together:

I am engaged to be married on May 24, 2008 to the lovely Rebekah Banks. Bekah is a constant reminder that God is gracious to undeserving sinners...even in giving them beautiful wives they don't deserve.

My music preferences have definitely shifted over to melody driven rock and indie music. Check out Aqualung, a british one-man-band that is really interesting. He has an awesome voice and the music is just cool. It is basically electronica with sparse piano bits and drum machines, but really rockin' guitars. Also, for some reason, I have been drawn to Derek Webb's most recent album The Ringing Bell. Although I wrote a pretty negative music review previously, the album has really grown on me. Check it out.

I am reading a couple of books. Rachel Banks, my fiancee's sister, bought me Church History in Plain Language by Bruce Shelley for Christmas. It is basically a 500 pg history of the Christian church, starting with the teaching's of Jesus. Its good so far...just 50 pages into it. I'm also reading the novel The Road by Cormac McCarthy. It has a post apocalyptic setting and is pretty dark. The author has been heralded as the "next Faulkner..."

I have also been flipping through a really sweet 1940 Episcopal Hymnal. I bought it in an awesome used book store in St. Louis over Christmas break. Its cool because it has all the words to the songs and a simple melody line written with each one. All you have to do is plink out the simple melodies on the piano and you can sing some really obscure hymns.

Additionally, I have been thinking tons about worship, both in theory and practically. Hopefully more posts on that soon.

Quick thought

2007-11-25T23:56:00.000-05:00

If a garden was the image of a perfect relationship with God before sin entered the world and a city (New Jerusalem in Rev. 21) is the image of that harmonious relationship restored in Christ, is the Bible encouraging the building of cities? Is urbanization a means by which we further the Kingdom on earth?

hmmm...

[untitled]

2007-11-13T13:44:00.000-05:00

Untitled art really bothers me. When I am visiting a studio or gallery and I see a great painting, my heart always sinks when I see that it has been left without a title. Or worse, when the art is actually a form of writing. Many poems, blog posts, sermons, even short stories are left without a proper name these days. Why is this? I think that somewhere down the line (probabably with a great increase due to postmodernity) someone thought that we shouldn't hinder a piece of art by slapping a title on it. I hear someone saying "...it is what it is, nothing more. I don't want to restrain the audience..." Since when did this become artistic?

I think that art should Christianly reflect creation. According to John Piper (an English major), writing is the closest that we can come to creating something from nothing. I believe the visual arts and music are tied at a close second.

After God had created everything, he allowed man, the creation steward, to name all of the animals. Naming something shows a certain dominion and creative control and I think that this concept of creation is very artistic. It also demonstrates an intentionality. Art should be pointed and intentional with its message. Some artistic experts suggest that the title should be the first thing an artist creates because it gives both the audience and the artist a sense of direction.

Titles are also good for merely practical purposes. It is ridiculously hard to refer to a piece of art that does not have a title. We tend to use physical properties (color, texture, medium) for visual arts and phrases and themes to describe written art. For someone who says they "don't want to hinder art with a title," I think that this is very ironic because they force viewers to refer to the piece as "that blue one with a yellow streak" or "that one that said something about conditions of the heart" or even "that really big one." Certainly this is more limiting to the piece than placing a title on it. In fact, the title can help people understand and appreciate it more because they have a handle to hold, and perhaps a theme to ponder.

Rahab and Faith/Works

2007-11-11T22:57:00.000-05:00

I was reading the story of Rahab again on Sunday morning. As I looked up other references in the scriptures that talk about Rahab, I saw an interesting connection. In the same way as Abraham, Rahab is actually used as a model for faith and as a model for works of righteousness. I never noticed that before. Her act of hiding the Israelite spies is recorded in Hebrews 11 (traditional faith chapter) and James 2 (Faith without works is dead chapter).

Conclusion: God gave us two noteworthy models of working in faith, a man and a woman. The woman was a prostitute, the man a pagan. God revealed himself to both of them (Abraham by speaking to him in Ur and Rahab by guiding the spies to her door). Both examples were quite passive in this initial meeting. Then they both did something to show that they trusted in the promises that God made to them.

Publicly Joining Zion

2007-11-11T17:51:00.000-05:00

I officially joined Zion Church PCA today. I am now a functioning, publicly recognized church member in Lincoln, Nebraska. Its a good feeling. As long as I am in Lincoln, I have a duty to serve this church to the best of my ability. It is a covenant I am making regardless of how much the church serves me. Even though serving this church (or any) will be difficult in some ways, I am rather pleased to be a part of Zion. There are several aspects of Zion church that I find particularly helpful:

1. Liturgy- Good ole' fashioned "lets confess together" liturgy. It is worshipful to the Father for us to confess what we know to be true about Him and about ourselves, and it is encouraging and nourishing for the body to speak truth.

2. Order of Worship- Zion has a unique order of worship that I find very helpful. There is a good mixture of hymns and spiritual songs with both contemporary and older instrumentation and melody. We prepare to confess our sins together, then kneel and confess our personal sins to God, then hear the assurance of pardon from the atoning work of Christ. We are instructed by the word. We celebrate communion together and are free to enjoy singing or listening to music while waiting for everyone to receive the bread and cup. Since we have already confessed our sins, we are free to joyfully take part in the sacrament with the community of the redeemed.

3. Weekly communion- Not a scriptural command, but it has been helpful to me and I think it is a good practice for any church.

4. Approachable leadership- It has been an honor to get to know some of the elders and pastors and Zion. They seem to be interested in getting to know me. This is a huge encouragement for someone who is thinking seriously about ministry work. I love to have relationships with people who can give godly, pastoral advice to an inexperienced youth such as myself.

5. Families- There are kids running everywhere. There are parents holding their children. It is a beautiful picture of the way that God has chosen to work in our community. People are fulfilling the cultural mandate.

And I am a part of that. I pledged to be. These are the the vows that I took:

Do you acknowledge yourself to be a sinner in the sight of God, justly deserving his displeasure, and without hope, except through his sovereign mercy?
Do you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ as the Son of God, and savior of sinners, and do you receive and trust him alone for salvation as he is offered in the gospel?
Do you now resolve and promise, in humble reliance upon the grace of the Holy Spirit, that you will endeavor to live as becomes a follower of Christ?
Do you promise to support the church in it's worship and work to the best of your ability?
Do you submit yourself to the government and discipline of the church, and promise to strive for its purity and peace?

I answered these in the affirmative. If you are not currently a member of a church, I challenge you to think seriously about it. It is a way for you to express your commitment to the growing Kingdom of Jesus. We are all called to serve.

joining the church

2007-11-07T23:46:00.000-05:00

I will be publicly joining Zion church this Sunday morning. Everyone is welcome to come and celebrate my becoming part of the visible Church in Lincoln Nebraska. I'm actually transferring my membership from 2nd Presbyterian Church (PCA) in Yazoo City, Mississippi. This decision has been a long time coming, but I feel that it is the right one. It feels good to be part of the local body again. Hope to see you there.

More substantial posts are in the works. Stay tuned.

Catch up post

2007-11-06T14:42:00.000-05:00

I know that I haven't posted in a while and I am sure that you are all on the edge of your seats hoping for more thoughts on Baptism. For now I have none. I have done precious little reading on the topic in the last couple of weeks. School and personal demands have been primary. But I thought that I might give a summary of some of my thoughts as of late, ranging from serious to silly...

Should we preach systematics? I have been contemplating recently whether or not pastors, when they preach, should refer to a systematic theology approach of understanding a text. Should we bring all that we know about a given topic to a text that seems to exemplify it, or should we preach primarily within that text, drawing out themes of redemption that are present while leaving other aspects for later sermons. This is not a yes/no question, but an important one.

Why can't men wear purses? I mean, seriously. I am a pocket person, meaning I always have lots of stuff in my pockets or otherwise connected to my person. It would be a lot easier if I had a purse to carry that stuff in. Why is this not socially acceptable? Some people might suggest a "man-purse" but that is just not the same.

Living for Christ? What does it mean to "live for Christ." It is a phrase that gets thrown around in Christian circles a lot. I just don't really know what it means. I could look up any number of definitions for this phrase and could probably supply a fairly theologically correct one myself. But it doesn't mean anything if it is not experiential. I guess I just don't feel like I really "live for Christ" most of the time.

The importance of voice and melody. For the last few years my musical interests have been in the indie-rock/indie-folk vein. This music is still amazing and I continue to fall in love with bands like this. But these bands often downplay the importance of powerful vocals and melodies. I feel like I may be moving away from this and more toward vocally driven music.

How old is the earth? 6-day Creationism vs. Old earth is still a hot topic. Being in geology this semester has stimulated my interest in the topic. I have a fairly massive post about this that I am working on. It should be out soon, provided I have the guts to publish it.

Revelation. I have been reading through the book of John's revelation again. It is such a fascinating book. Reading it again has been very good for me. It is so symbolic, I don't know how anyone could have anything other than a preterist reading of it. Seriously.

Those thoughts have been pretty much in constant rotation in my mind lately.

Thoughts on Baptism, Part one

2007-10-07T10:02:00.000-04:00

I am going to attempt several posts this semester concerning my thoughts on paedo/believer's baptism. This has been a mystery for me for a long time as I will explain below. However, I am starting to feel the need to come down on this issue for several reasons. Because I hope to be joining Zion Church soon, I would like to be cultivating a theology of baptism that will show me how I will appreciate the sacrament. When a baby is baptized at Zion, I need to have a category for how I deal with it. Is it good? Is it acceptable? Is it praiseworthy? Is it done out of tradition or real biblical thought? Another reason for studying this issue is that I hope to attend seminary after school. This decision may or may not have an effect on my choice of seminary, but it definitely will affect how I relate with ideas and people within seminary.

I grew up in the PCA (Presbyterian Church in America) in Mississippi. I witnessed many infant baptisms as I was growing up and did not question its validity until around middle school. I found out that my parents were of a believer's baptist position and that they only went to a PCA church because of the strong teaching. Then I realized that I hadn't been baptized as a child. I was baptized when I was 12 years old--I was sprinkled in that Presbyterian church as a believer. I befriended my pastors and struggled with the concept of baptism throughout high school. I was pretty much sold on the idea of believer's baptism when I finished high school and started college so I looked for Baptist churches in the area. Eventually, I had to come back to the PCA for the same reason my parents had joined years ago. I begin to question baptism again after my freshman year in college because of the influence of teaching and friends. And here I am uncertain again.

So I have picked up some reading that will guide me through this topic. I had some material for this previously, and I have a couple of books on order from Amazon. This may be slow processing because I don't have very much time to read. But I hope to get through these books by the end of the semester:

The Case for Covenantal Infant Baptism (Gregg Strawbridge). This came recommended to me by one of the elders in my Church.

Christian Baptism (John Murray). This is a short work but I hope to use Murray to really get an intellectual mindset for infant baptism. He is a very pithy and heady writer.

Believer's Baptism: Sign of the New Covenant in Christ (Thomas Schreiner & Shawn Wright). I chose this because it seems to be a definitive work on the covenantal aspect of believer's baptism. It is endorsed by the likes of Wayne Grudem and Bruce Ware.

I am also finishing a little essay by Bryan Chapell called A Pastoral Overview of Infant Baptism. As the name would imply, his concerns are largely pastoral and not exegetical, but I am using this as a guide to the key passages on baptism, especially in the Old Testament. Befor e I begin my analysis, here is a presupposition and a disclaimer:

Assumption: Covenant theology is largely true. I concede that there is more continuity between the old and new covenants than discontinuity. There is a flow of redemption that needs to be understood. So, any study of theological issues in the NT need to be understood in the context of the OT. I may find that there is some discontinuity in the area of baptism...especially that it is not the sign of the new covenant. But I must first admit that there is a connection between old and new.

Disclaimer: My study will not focus as much on historical example. I find history to be inconclusive when it comes to this issue. As far back as I can see, there has been disagreement about baptism. Even if one side could lay claim to precedence, it could not precede by much, and there are other historical factors that could be at work.

As I begin this study, I need to be very careful about man's opinion. I don't want to be swayed into either camp because I don't want to offend or hurt people. I have great respect for my parents and the people in my church in Sioux City. I also have respect for my friends and teachers in Lincoln. This is hard, but I want my arguments to be biblically grounded in truth, not what is most convenient for me. Any reading recommendations and solid advice are welcome.

I love working at LJS

2007-10-04T18:36:00.000-04:00

Most of what I do at the Lincoln Journal Star is business over the phone. Usually, it follows a formula: The customer calls, I take their classified ad, I get payment from them, repeat. Occasionally, I get some really interesting calls.

This is a synopsis of one conversation I had with a lady today:

ME: "Journal Star Classifieds, this is Gray"

LADY: "Hello, my name is ______ and I have received a REVELATION. "

ME: "Ummm... ok"

LADY: "I have received a revelation from the Lord. He told me that every child in the Lincoln Public Schools needs to say the Lord's prayer at 8:00 on Halloween. This is what the Lord said, Children need to know the Lord's prayer and he wants them to say it on Halloween. If this happens, then we can prevent all of the "Woes" spoken of in the book of Revelation. You see, I believe that I am the INCARNATE EVE. In the garden, It was not Adam who was tempted. It was Eve who was tempted, and...."

ME: (Interrupting) "Umm...Ma'am. I'm sorry but did you want to place a Classified Ad."

LADY: (hesitating) Well, how much would it cost me to put this in the paper.

ME: Well, that depends. When did you want this to run.

LADY: It needs to go in tomorrow. We need to get it in there. Children only have 3 weeks to learn the Lord's prayer before halloween. (Then launches back into the prophecy again.)

ME: Well, for an announcement like this, we have to run it on our regular rates. One day will be $28.96. Would you like to place the Ad?

LADY: I will need to consult Gen____ (some name that started with a "G" or a "J"...it sounded to me like it was some kind of spirit guide or angel). I will find out if she wants to run it and call you back.

ME: Ok, thanks, bye.

Times have changed since Isaiah and Jeremiah were prophets. Now prophecy works through mass communication...and it operates on a budget.

Toplady and Wesley

2007-10-03T09:04:00.001-04:00

The other day I was perusing monergism, as I am wont to do. I came across a published article written by Augustus Toplady entitled "A letter to the Rev. John Wesley." This article is a seething letter describing Toplady's outrage at John Wesley for secretly printing a pamphlet. Additionally, Wesley misquotes Toplady which enraged him even more. Look at this section:

Though you are neither mentioned, nor alluded to, throughout the whole book, yet it could hardly be imagined that a treatise apparently tending to lay the axe to the root of those pernicious doctrines which, for more than thirty years past, you have endeavoured to palm on your credulous followers, with all the sophistry of a jesuit, and the dictatorial authority of a pope, should long pass without some censure from the hand of a restless Arminian, who has so eagerly endeavoured to distinguish himself as the bellwether of his deluded thousands.

Bam! The letter never relents either. Apparently, Wesley never replied because Toplady wrote another published letter to him 9 months later saying that he had not responded or apologized. Two pastors that were under Wesley did respond, however. But Toplady makes fun of their underdeveloped writing skills instead of dealing with their arguments.

I find this whole situation to be really funny, kinda sad, and without the slightest guise of charity. I didn't find it necessary to read Toplady's other articles on monergism-- Arminianism: The Golden Idol of Free Will and Arminianism: The Road to Rome

New Album from Iron and Wine

2007-09-25T22:40:00.000-04:00

I like to get albums the day they come out. It makes me feel like a true fan and I enjoy the experience of purchasing the final product...a product that musician(s), which are presumably smart and talented at what they are doing, have poured hundreds of hours into writing, recording, producing, and marketing. And the album is the capstone of this experience. Then I get to decide whether I like it or not. That is beautiful.

As far as the new Iron & Wine album, I am impressed. I would disagree, if nothing else than with the verbage, with the rumors about it being more "full band", as this term conjures up in my mind the addition of electric guitar power chords and a trapset. Both are lacking or at least understated in this album. The music is more full however with additional percussive African instruments and a great deal of computer generated noises.

If you are a fan of past albums, I wouldn't worry too much about the style changes. There are plenty of similarities apparent. The songs still consist of Sam Beam's soft voice, lulling the listener with his poetry...usually harmonizing with himself in 2-3 parts. He still uses repetitive guitar riffs throughout the songs and harps upon his usual theme: natural imagery fused with sexual and religious references. Another similarity I discovered is that his best, or at least most accessible songs, are toward the latter end of the album. This is a feature of his previous full-length Our Endless Numbered Days as well.

One last nifty aspect of this album is the inside booklet. It folds out to be a fairly large poster of the front cover. This is Sam Beam's artwork and it might very well find a place on my wall. It remains to be seen whether this album will equal Our Endless Numbered Days in my affections.

Super Market Discussion

2007-09-18T09:57:00.000-04:00

I was surprised by an interesting conversation that I overheard among 4 grocery store workers as I was checking out at Russ' Market last night around 10:00. There was some talk about the book of Revelation that I did not quite catch then I heard one of the guys say "I'm just gonna be sitting around playing Johnny Cash songs on the harmonica when the rapture happens...then everyone around will dissappear."

How random is that. It was clear that they were being derogatory about some person who had tried to convince them to get saved before the end times. I don't think that they have a very solid eschatological approach to life...but at least they don't believe in the rapture.

A good verse

2007-09-17T09:52:00.000-04:00

O Father, you are sovereign, the Lord of human pain,

Transmuting earthly sorrows to gold of heav'nly gain.

All evil overruling, as none but Conqu'ror could,

Your love pursues its purpose- our souls' eternal good

I just thought I would share a striking verse from a hymn that we sung yesterday at Zion Church. Sometimes it seems that the fact that God is sovereign and pursuing our good eliminates the philosophical "problem of pain." I know that that is a simplistic answer and that there are real people who are really hurting. But it is very comforting that God is the "Lord of human pain."

What to do?

2007-09-12T22:26:00.000-04:00

From time to time, I think about all of the things that I am studying and compare it with all of the subjects that I would like to know about...and my head explodes. There is so much that I want to know about...to think about...to do...

I want to be a secular musician, a hymn writer, a theologian (or at least a serious student of theology), to study Communication and Literature (my majors) at a graduate level. I want my hobbies to include photography, linguistics, and studying abroad. I want to immerse myself in all kinds of theological and philosophical books, but at the same time, I want to be a person who gives invested time to others. I want to be a beer/wine/cigar connoisseur and an art/music critic. I want to become well trained in the culinary arts. Some aspects of taking Geology this semester have made me want to spend some time at a dig site in the middle east...

That list only scratches the surface. One of the most freeing things about Christianity is that you can take any number of those things and live a fulfilled, Christ glorifying life. But you can't do it all. Lately I have been questioning why I want to do those things...any and all of them. A phrase from Piper's book Don't Waste Your Life keeps coming back to my head...

Just one life, twill soon be past
Only whats done for Christ will last

It's my responsibility to separate these desires. I must decide what my abilities and gifts are and how they can be used for the sake of the Kingdom. Everything else is just arrogance. It is my desire to feel accomplished when I look at myself in the mirror...rather than seeing a reflection of the glory of God shown in a sanctified servant of the Kingdom.

These words are magic

2007-08-23T00:56:00.000-04:00

I sometimes seem to have mystical experiences when I read the Bible. I read and I feel something inside of me moving, something powerful and yet inexplicable. I think that there is something very powerful in the truth that the Bible contains. At first, I attributed much of the feeling to the fact that the Scriptures are just good literature. This, of course is very true, and is at least part of the reason. The Bible contains some of the most beautiful and influential images and stories ever written. It could also be attributed to the overall clear structure and message of the Bible. It is the book that, for me, makes the most sense of life. There is a clear moral code, sense of justice, and directions for family, culture, music, art....life.

But in conjunction with these ideas, I also feel something more. It is something that makes the words feel powerfully true. It is a similar feeling to hearing a really awesome poem or song. Sometimes, you might not even understand the images used, but something about the way they have been masterfully put together gives you a warming sense of beauty. If you take that and multiply it greatly, you can get close to understanding the beauty of the Scriptures. I'm at a loss for description, but I admire the handiwork of the Spirit.

Blogging hiatus explained

2007-08-14T10:31:00.000-04:00

Because of recent trips to other parts of the country, I have been slack in my blogging. I apologize for my absence. I have many thoughts to subject to the world wide web, so keep checking and there should be some posts coming soon.

Possible future posts:

1. Christology : Who was Christ exactly? For whatever reason, have we formed a non-biblical conception of the Savior?

2. Family: Roles of family. Biblical picture of the Family....A covenantal theology of the family?

3. Music! (of course)

my top 15

2007-07-22T16:50:00.000-04:00

I have compiled a list of my top 15 favorite albums. I don't claim that these are the top 15 albums of all time or anything like that (You'll notice some obvious omissions; there is no Beatles, U2, etc.). Rather, these albums are chosen because they are meaningful to me. They are all very strong musically although some have become stylistically unappealing to me. But they are albums that were played in my car repeatedly and are almost completely memorized.

15. "Loud and Clear" by the O.C. Supertones: This album has brought many smiles to my face and reminds me strongly of high school Christianity. I remember rockin' out to these guys in my car with my best friend Josh. We would take turns singing some of the rap/hard ska lines. If you ever want to be in a heartfelt good mood, this is my recommendation.

14. "I'm Wide Awake, its Morning" by Bright Eyes. Conor Oberst's tremolo voice would rise and fill me with unfounded political passion. It is not the best music in the world, but very well written songs and a unique approach.

13. "Under the Table and Dreaming" by Dave Matthews Band. In my opinion, this is Dave at his best. Good songs sung to excellent music that crosses genre boundaries. This album reminds me of all the high school Mississippi guys who would sit around playing Dave. If you are a musician and you decide to move South, make sure you know some Dave songs because your skill as a guitar player is decided by how many DMB songs you can play (I only know one).

12. "40 Acres" by Caedmon's Call. This was an early high school discovery for me. I like it because it is pretty good music with strong theological content...that is unusual. I have found the songs to be encouraging, honest, and catchy.

11. "Our Endless Numbered Days" by Iron & Wine. Very good album. I highly recommend the second part of this album (songs 6-12) as late-night-drive-around music. Sam Beam is a true poet as well.

10. "Control" by Pedro the Lion. This album, introduced tag-team style by my friends Eric and Nathaniel, played in my car for the better half of second semester of my freshman year. It is an epic album about the effects of sin. Forming the backbone of this group was artist David Bazaan. I was asked to comment on this unique individual for an article in the Daily Nebraskan. Read here.

09. "Deceiver" by Chris Thile. This album showcases the experimental song-writing of the child prodigy mandolin player for the pop-bluegrass band Nickelcreek. Every song is worth listening to and Mr. Thile plays all the instruments on the album.

08. "Tell All Your Friends" by Taking Back Sunday. I can't tell you how many times I have listened to this album. Stylistically, I have somewhat moved on from them. But it was, in many ways, the music of my high school experience. Memories of summer and driving and myself and Bekah screaming the words at the top of our lungs flood my mind. You can't replace that. This album definitely belongs in my top 10.

07. "This side" by Nickelcreek. The best of Nickelcreek in my opinion. The album has well-written songs and some of the most infectious melodies I've ever heard. Also, it is very well produced.

06. "The Animal Years" by Josh Ritter. I bought this album less than a year ago and I am still scratching my head as to how it has made it to a very coveted #6 position on my chart. It might have something to do with the beauty and subtlety of the whole album. The songs are well-crafted and polished gems that catch the spirit of a songwriter who seems both intimately brilliant and simplistic.

05. "Makers" by Rocky Votolato. Also introduced by Nathaniel Thompson, Rocky Votolato is my songwriter soul mate. Never have a I heard a collection of songs that comes closer than this at describing what I think true, good songwriting actually is. I loved it the first time I listened to it. If you don't have it, go buy it.

04. "Parachutes" by Coldplay. Who could forget the song "Yellow." This is excellent rock and roll music and Coldplay's best. We all now know that they will never be the next U2, but they are still epic.

03. "O" by Damien Rice. This album is a close second to "makers" in the area of song-writer inspiration. The best "recorded at home" album that I know of, "O" never ceases to move me. It is intimate and off-the-cuff and sometimes tragic. This is a CD case staple.

02. "Grace" by Jeff Buckley. This album is pure genius. It features a pretty good recording for the time period. Buckley's guitar skills and voice have moved me to tears on more than one occasion, especially on "lover, you should have come over". A common tragedy was laid in store for this young genius: drugs, alchohol, and an untimely, stimulant induced death in a tributary of the Mississippi River. Were he still alive, God only knows what kind of music he would be producing now.

01. "Transatlanticism" by Death Cab for Cutie. I just keep coming back to this one. It never gets old. It is excellent from the first sounds to the last. I usually can't bring myself to skip songs because they are all so good. I have been known to listen to this album 3-4 times in a row, letting it speak brilliance to me on road trips. One of the best features of this album is its flow. The way the songs are arranged reinforce themes as well as a pleasant musical journey. I didn't like it the first time I listened, nor the second. But somewhere along the line, I began to view this album as God's gift to me.

And there you have it. This was a hard post because I love so many albums. So I thought that I would merely list some that have also been very good in my experience.

Honorary Mention (no particular order)

"Blood on the Tracks" by Bob Dylan
"The Swiss Army Romance" by Dashboard Confessional
"Music for the Morning After" by Pete Yorn
"You should be living" by Two Thirty-eight
"Thought of Her" by Andy Davis
"She Must and Shall Go Free" Derek Webb
"Room for Squares" by John Mayer
"They're only Chasing Safety" by Underoath
"Nevermind" by Nirvana
"Michigan" by Sufjan Stevens
"Pretend Your Alive" by Lovedrug

We are "relevant" again

2007-07-05T19:38:00.000-04:00

Indelible grace is the group of musicians that started re-writing hymns in Nashville Tennessee. It started very small but, eventually, these songs became the standard worship music for Reformed University Fellowship (RUF).

Recently, Relevant magazine interviewed Igrace worship leader Matthew Smith about the new/old "trends" in worship music. You can read the interview here. Matthew Smith is a great example of the style of worship being promoted by Igrace. Plus, he's just a cool guy (I know because several of us RUFers took him out for steak and beer after one of his concerts). Reformed Christians, especially the younger ones, seem to be catching the eyes of Christian media. Last September, Christianity Today released the article Young, Restless, Reformed. Read here. Both of these highlight the movement of young people toward the old dead guys.

The interest seems to be growing. RUFs all over the country are growing and new ones are being established. The time between the releases of new Igrace albums is becoming shorter (the next one is due this fall). There is a growing need, as Smith points out in his interview, for authenticity in America's twentysomethings.

Our generation, as every generation before it, is somewhat reactionary against our parents conception of experiential Christianity. We have grown sick of the need to just "feel" and experience. We want to grow in knowledge of why we do what we do. Grow in our conviction that Christianity is not just a happy or successful place, nor is it a get out of hell free card. Rather, it is something that is real, tangible, earthy. God is at work within the world he created and his chief goal is not to make us happy. We are part of something bigger than us.

I know it will be a long time before we will hear Poor Sinner Dejected with Fear on "positive, encouraging KLOVE." But lets work for it. We need to address the needs of our generation, and the needs are great.

Cell phone spirituality

2007-06-27T11:45:00.000-04:00

I got a ridiculously funny text message last night when I was hanging out with some people at The Mill. The message said this:

Say this slowly "God I love U & I need U!" send this to 10 ppl & a miracle will happen 2nite. Ignore it and everything will go wrong!

I ignored it and everything seems to be fine so far. I read the message out loud and everyone laughed. It was from some unknown Mississippi number (go figure). I tend to get pretty annoyed with any form of media as a means to share the gospel, although I'm sure God has used it. My favorite story is when I received one of those Christian email forwards that told some emotional and unbelievable stories. Then at the end of the message it said something like this:

Send this to as many people as you possibly can!!! If Jesus had been alive when we had email, he would definitely have used it to spread His name.

WOW. I can't even begin to list all the problems with that.

"Upon The Burning of Our House"

2007-06-09T15:03:00.000-04:00

As many now know, my church Zion Church (PCA) burned down early this morning. In the fury of various emotions this afternoon, I remembered a poem that I had studied in high school by the 17th century puritan poet Anne Bradstreet. The poem is as follows:

Upon the Burning of Our House

In silent night when rest I took,
For sorrow neer I did not look,
I waken'd was with thundring nois
And Piteous shreiks of dreadfull voice.
That fearfull sound of fire and fire,
Let no man know is my Desire.
I, starting up, the light did spye,
And to my God my heart did cry
To strengthen me in my Distresse
And not to leave me succourlesse.
Then coming out beheld a space,
The flame consume my dwelling place.
And, when I could no longer look,
I blest his Name that gave and took,
That layd my goods now in the dust:
Yea so it was, and so 'twas just.
It was his own: it was not mine;
Far be it that I should repine.

He might of All justly bereft,
But yet sufficient for us left.
When by the Ruines oft I past,
My sorrowing eyes aside did cast,
And here and there the places spye
Where oft I sate, and long did lye.

Here stood that Trunk, and there that chest;
There lay that store I counted best:
My pleasant things in ashes lye,
And them behold no more shall I.
Under thy roof no guest shall sitt,
Nor at thy Table eat a bitt.

No pleasant tale shall 'ere be told,
Nor things recounted done of old.
No Candle 'ere shall shine in Thee,
Nor bridegroom's voice ere heard shall bee.
In silence ever shalt thou lye;
Adieu, Adeiu; All's vanity.

Then streight I gin my heart to chide,
And didst thy wealth on earth abide?
Didst fix thy hope on mouldring dust,
The arm of flesh didst make thy trust?
Raise up thy thoughts above the skye
That dunghill mists away may flie.

Thou hast an house on high erect
Fram'd by that mighty Architect,
With glory richly furnished,
Stands permanent tho' this bee fled.
It's purchased, and paid for too
By him who hath enough to doe.

A Prise so vast as is unknown,
Yet, by his Gift, is made thine own.
Ther's wealth enough, I need no more;
Farewell my Pelf, farewell my Store.
The world no longer let me Love,
My hope and Treasure lyes Above.

The last verses were particularly comforting for me. Many have already rightfully stated that the building that a church is in is less significant than the actual people of God represented. This is certainly true. But it is also right that God should have a dwelling place with His people. What I find very comforting is that God will establish his Kingdom eternally in the new heavens and the new earth. There, no fire can destroy his actual dwelling place.

Come quickly, Lord.

Not necessarily recommended

2007-06-02T01:48:00.000-04:00

Nobody loves Derek Webb more than me. I'm a huge fan. But I must say that his latest album has been a bit disappointing for me. I admire him for constantly changing his style and bringing up issues that are not normally talked about in Christian circles. But this last album seems over the top. He switches to more electric guitars and heavier drums, which is a drastic change from his previous albums. He changes from a ballad approach ( on many songs) to a more abstract songwriting approach--a style that can be good but is not necessarily his strength.
There are a couple of redeeming aspects. The songs Savior on Capital Hill and This too shall be made right are interesting and thought provoking. The love songs to his wife, however loving and tender the effort, are mostly boring and unoriginal. I expected more.

Another recent experience of mine was reading Listening To The Beliefs Of Emerging Churches. While this was not necessarily a bad book, it did leave some things to be desired. It is a book that has 5 different emerging church pastors perspectives on theology. Each pastor wrote a chapter and each one wrote a response to everyone else's chapters. It is a good read if you already know a good bit about the pastors being discussed, but I would not recommend this book to someone trying to learn general information about the emerging church. For me, the book raised more questions than it answered.

Good movie at The Ross

2007-05-30T21:35:00.000-04:00

A couple of days ago, I saw a great film at The Ross called After the Wedding directed by Susanne Bier. Bier is a Danish filmmaker most famous for her dogme 95 film Open Hearts. I watched this film and other Danish films in my European Cinema class.

After the Wedding is a top notch production. I especially enjoyed the brilliant and compelling plot (which I won't spoil) woven by film-writer Anders Thomas Jensen. The acting was also wonderful. I particularly enjoyed the performances of Rolf Lassgard, who plays a mysterious millionaire family man Jorgen, and Stine Fischer Christensen, Jorgen's naive daughter.

It is well worth the money to go see it. Additionally, you will get a chance to support The Ross, which has provided us with so many good, independent and foreign films.

Interesting Federal Vision Quote

2007-05-29T20:10:00.000-04:00

I was reading an article on the Federal Vision this morning and I came across an interesting quote in opposition to the movement:

"Extensive study of their [the Federalists'] oral and written teachings on the special concerns of the Federal Vision convinces me that they have taught, alongside some wonderful truths, some serious errors about covenant theology and its implications for salvation, personal and corporate spirituality and piety, the use and understanding of the sacraments and the conduct of theology and biblical studies in general. Sadly, their mistakes undermine their very laudable goals. Their attempt to assure tender souls who doubt their salvation while they trust in Christ collapses and the poor souls are left more confused than before, because the objectivity of the covenant is inadequate to the task-while the presumptuous, who hear that aspect of their message may be led, inadvertently, to the false assurance of formalism. At the same time, their attempt to destroy the complacency of the presumptuous is in profound danger of promoting a false legalistic notion of works righteousness" (p.306)."

- Cal Beisner

I thought that this quote captured some of my feelings and concerns with the Federalists. I tend to view this movement as mostly wrong but containing some good truths and correctives. The problems are compounded by a lack of direction and unity within the movement. Earlier in the article, the author Anthony R. Dallison states:

"Sadly, the so-called 'Federal Vision' is no vision at all in the end, but a 'Federal Fog', and that of a most serious nature indeed"

I agree that the movement is "foggy" but I am also not ready to come down on it with severe judgement. I disagree with many of its premises, but, in some ways, I also disagree with the way that the PCA is trying to control it. Is this really an issue challenging Justification by Faith Alone? Certainly the doctrine could lead to a misunderstanding of Justification which could be heretical. But how is this different than any other way of organizing theology. Every way to present theology could be taken to an extreme that warrants condemnation. Mostly, I think it is an issue of how we read the Westminster Standards. I favor a fairly loose reading of the confession, so as to allow room for generations to make it applicable to the cultural needs. This is not to say, of course, that the issue of Justification by Faith Alone is a cultural understanding of scripture. But I don't really think that FV proponents want to discard this doctrine.

"In essentials unity,
in doubtful matters liberty,
in all things charity."

-Rupertus Meldenius (via Millard J. Erickson)

These guys are good

2007-05-23T19:40:00.000-04:00

I can't stand Lifeway Christian Store. It is one of the most commercially driven, useless stores in the U.S. But I had a gift card to Lifeway worth $18 and I knew it would be a waste to throw it away. So I went to there (I had to go twice because I couldn't find anything there that I wanted the first time...I mean nothing). The second time I went I decided I should just purchase some music. I bought David Crowder's new b-sides album, a mini-album-follow-up to his last release "A Collision." I also purchased "Redemption Songs" by Jars of Clay.

Redemtion Songs is a great album. It is a collection of old hymns sung to modern tunes, many of which are Indelible Grace (RUF). I have know about this cd for a while and I know that many of my friends own it. But I was listening to it for the first time the other day and I was struck by how good the music really was. I mean, Jars of Clay is a really good band. They do a great job with keeping the tunes of the hymns, while giving them elaborate intros and fresh rhythm structures.

I've always liked Jars. I saw them live when I was in high school and I remember being impressed. I loved them even more when I found out they were reformed and Presbyterian (PCA). I respect them spiritually and musically. I guess I just had forgotten their talent. Its a shame that a lot of people stopped listening to them after their "glory days" of Christian pop music in the late nineties.

...the joy, joy, joy joy, down in my heart, where?

2007-05-19T17:45:00.000-04:00

John Piper says that, for the Christian, there is no difference between the experience of joy, happiness, glee, (insert happy word here). He says that all of the Biblical words used for these emotions are used interchangeably. While I can't, at this point, check his greek and hebrew skills, I think that he may be right. I always got a weird feeling when someone would say that Christians experience "joy" while non-christians have only fleeting "happiness".
Usually people say this when they are going through tribulation or sorrow. They say "although I can't be happy, I can have joy because I know that I have Jesus." I think this has some validity. We need to recognize the presence of Jesus during hard times. But I think that Christians can and should seek real, smiley, bubbly, happiness even during hard times.
I'm not trying to minimize the pain and struggles of life, and I realize that we need to be sensitive to people and not try to make them artificially happy when they are really grieving. At the same time, if we really truly believe Romans 8:28, we should probably be smiling more.

Why the naked guy?

2007-03-26T15:48:00.000-04:00

As I was reading the gospel of Mark this morning, I came across a familiar and baffling passage. It is just after Judas comes and betrays Jesus and the mob comes and takes him away. Mark 14:51-53 is given the auspicious subtitle "A Young Man Flees" but basically it states that a guy follows the mob and then runs away, leaving his linen cloth covering behind. Here are the verses:

"And a young man followed him, with nothing but a linen cloth about his body. And they seized him, but he left the linen cloth and ran away naked." Mark 14:51-53 ESV

Thats all. The passage ends there and the next few verses deal with Jesus before the High Priest. It seems so random. It seems superfluous in the unfolding drama of the week of Jesus' death. Apparently some scholars believe this young man to be the apostle John. I don't know what reasoning was used to posit this however. But Calvin and Matthew Henry both agree that it is placed in the text to show how unruly the mob was. They are so out of control that they pick on a defenseless young man in order to humiliate him. This reasoning seems better than the John interpretation, but it still doesn't seem to make that much sense.

I thought of another interpretation that could be plausible. It seems to me that the point of the few verses that precede verse 51 is to show that everyone is deserting Jesus. Vs. 50 states "And they all left him and fled." The next verses are the one's about the young man. Perhaps the young man is one of Jesus' disciples who just takes a little bit longer to flee him. Perhaps he followed behind the crowd, interested in knowing what was happening to his Teacher so long as he was not identified. The moment that he was noticed, however, he ran away because he was unwilling to endure the same suffering as Jesus. I don't know if this is remotely correct, but it seemed to fit the context somewhat better.

I'm Changing...but reluctatantly

2007-03-24T14:41:00.000-04:00

Right now, I am beginning to import my entire cd collection into itunes. It will be a long, boring process. For ten years or so I have been collecting music on cds. I estimate that I have nearly 200 full length (and store bought not burned) CDs in my collection. I am frustrated by the digital music movement that will soon make compact discs obsolete. There are two main reasons why I don't like digital music:

Reason 1: It causes the artists to make less money for their work. This is primarily because it is so much easier to burn and share music. Because it is so much easier to share, they have had to lower the price of songs so that people will be more likely to buy the music. It is frustrating to hear people's excuses for sharing/burning (especially Christians). People... pirating music is nothing less than STEALING. My favorite excuse is what I like to call the Robin Hood Excuse. This is when people say that they only burn music from artists who are really successful and who "don't need the money." This is no more appropriate than saying that it is OK to steal money from Bill Gates because he is successful at making it. Stealing is Stealing and there is no way around it.

Reason 2: I'm sad that I will soon not be able to buy cds for the mere pleasure of it. One of my favorite things to do is to drive to a store to buy a cd. I love to open up a cd (yes even with the frustrating plastic sticky stuff), look at the artwork inside, read the lyrics and place it into my cd player to listen to on the way home. Its a great experience. I also love that I have an entire album of a band's work. Its cool to see all of the songs that they include on an album and in what order they placed them.

Anyway, there is nothing wrong with digital music in general. I will submit myself to the power of technology and start downloading (legally). Its just that I fell in love with music by means of the compact disk and I am sad to see it go.

This is sad

2007-03-22T11:05:00.000-04:00

This is the list of books that I have started to read this semester but have not yet finished:

The Legacy of Sovereign Joy (Piper)
The Pursuit of God (Tozer)
Called to the Ministry (Clowney)
Atlas Shrugged (Rand)
A Long Obdience in The Same Direction (Peterson)
Knowing God (Packer)
Understanding Dispensationalists (Poythress)
Creation Regained (Wolters)

There is absolutely no excuse for this. I am starting to realize that, if I'm honest, much of my "desire" to read is basically just a desire to "have read" something. I want to be able to say that I have read something so that I can hold my own in a theological discussion. I am looking to break down books into a couple of sentences so that I can either praise it or refute it and feel comfortable with myself. It is just striking to me how I can flit from one subject to another, and think that I growing spiritually. Shame.

Another look at CCM

2007-03-22T00:31:00.000-04:00

I, like many of the people in my circles, have gagged on the sweet, money making sounds of contemporary Christian music. I get frustrated when I listen to a Christian station. I hear songs that are basically "I" centered and have little or no theological or otherwise Biblical content.

However, I have recently been drawn to what I consider to be a subgroup within CCM. I have a close friend who also serves the Church by leading worship and he recently showed me some incredible music written by popular worship leaders. There are, of course, bands that travel around and basically use our sub-Christian culture to generate profit. But there are also worship leaders that serve at local churches that produce good music. Some examples: David Crowder, Matt Redman, Travis Cottrell.

These guys are solid. I might not like everything that they produce and, stylistically, I might not always approve, but I can't really say that I always approve of Indelible Grace's style either. The main point is that these guys drive me to worship. They make me want to put my heart into leading people in worship. They show me that God is glorified when we work hard to make new arrangements and make our music sound excellent with skillful playing and good production. I'm not ready to say that I like CCM...but I do like worship leaders who are proactive and intentional about worship.

A "Christian" Paradigm

2007-03-06T20:18:00.000-05:00

From time to time I have these realizations that, being in college, I really am supposed to be learning something. Sometimes I get so used to routine that I forget that the point of an education is to get educated. I realize at these times that I have a further responsibility, as a Christian, to process my education in terms of the gospel.

So lately I have been contemplating some ideas that were expressed in my Intro to Communication Research Methods class and I have been trying to process them Christianly. This class deals with how research is conducted in the field of communications (my new major...see post below). A large section of the class is devoted to what is called research paradigms. These paradigms guide the researcher in how and why he/she conducts research. The three paradigms are as follows:

1. Discovery Paradigm: There is an absolute truth that can be found with research on any subject. Nothing is subjective. Research can tell us exactly what is true for everyone. (Ex: Good Communication in marriage leads to relationship satisfaction)

2. Interpretive Paradigm: Ideas found in research are subjective. The person being studied creates his or her own meaning. This paradigm wants to collect as much data from as many people as possible because every person has a unique take on each subject. (Ex: What aspects of marriage increase relationship satisfaction for individuals?)

3. Critical paradigm: This paradigm seeks to correct what is perceived to be wrong in the world. A researcher studies some injustice and provides research on why it should be changed. (Ex: Husbands should use good communication because it leads to their wife’s relationship satisfaction.)

As Christians, which paradigm should we use to process truth? At first I thought the answer was simple: We should use the Discovery paradigm because we all know that there is objective truth in the world. Most of us have been affected enough by the Church’s reaction against post-modernism that we chafe at the idea of something being “subjective.”

The more I think about this, however, the more I realize that the paradigms are not merely a pronouncement of truth, they are “ways of knowing something.” I think therefore that we can use all of them in both Biblical scholarship and our everyday lives.

Let me give an example. I know that God is sovereign because the Bible tells me as much (objective reality=discovery paradigm). I also know that God is sovereign because when I hang out with friends, they give me examples and I myself can experience the sovereignty of God (Interpretive Paradigm). Finally, I can prove that God is sovereign in my own life by trusting that he will work things out for me. This means I SHOULD trust him (Critical Paradigm).

Thus, God uses many means to convey truth to us. We believe that the Bible is truth. But the way that we unpack and apply that truth is by examining our personal experience and by making changes based on what we have observed.

A Major Major Change

2007-03-04T23:10:00.000-05:00

After nearly two weeks of prayer, talking with godly friends, and consulting my amazing parents, I have decided to change majors. Currently, I am a business management major and I have nothing against business as a whole, or the professors, or the department. However, I am under conviction that God would have me develop the particular gifts he has given me in the areas of Communication Studies and English.

Its totally crazy, in a sense, that I am switching (as a finishing sophomore) to a double major in two subjects that I am currently not in. But I am really excited about it. Ever since I came to college, I have been longing to develop my reading, writing, and communication skills. I started out in Engineering. I pretty much couldn't get any of these skills in that department (no offense to anyone). Then I switched to business and communication studies minor. This was good for a while. The communication classes became my favorites and I even got some communication skills from my business classes. However, it became clear this semester that I am never really going to be able to write in business classes.

So that brought me to this point. I will probably switch majors tomorrow. I am nervous and excited and happy. I must give a hats off to my parents here. I was able to talk with mom and dad this weekend and they were the most supportive and caring people that I could ever want as parents. They are godly and perfect models of depending on God's sovereingty.

Now all I have to worry about is finishing my business classes this semester...ugghh.

New blog explained...

2007-02-25T17:50:00.000-05:00

So I have decided to start a new blog. This is mostly because I have way too many thoughts on God, music and general life activities to fit into my brain. I am trying to live intentionally about everything. Nothing is meaningless. My mind subjects all activity to its critical eye and sometimes it feels like I'm going crazy. My other blog is somewhat limited in its scope so I thought maybe starting this would help.

A note on the title of my blog:
The title for my blog comes from a Death Cab for Cutie song with the same name. There are several reasons why I chose this.

1. This is quite possibly my favorite song ever (one that also comes close is Jeff Buckley's Lover, you should have come over) It is my idea of what good song writing should be; therefore, it says a lot about me.

2. The title is suggestive of my name...Gray.

3. The title is suggestive of my mood. It resonates with my struggle with indifference and a search for a unique and colorful identity. And yet, there is hope. The song suggests that color is really "bursting at the seams from absorbing everything."

4. The song conveys reality about life. Life is concrete. There is "fact not fiction" in the world and even though it is hard sometimes (the song is about a break-up and is very sad), it is reality and we have to face it and talk about it.

Here are the lyrics:

"A Lack Of Color"

And when i see you
I really see you upside down
But my brain knows better
It picks you up and turns you around
Turns you around, turns you around

If you feel discouraged
That there's a lack of color here
Please don't worry lover
It's really bursting at the seams
Absorbing everything
The spectrum's a to z

This is fact not fiction
For the first time in years
And all the girls in every girlie magazine
Can't make me feel any less alone
I'm reaching for the phone

To call at 7:03 and on your machine I slur a plea for you to come home
But i know it's too late
I should have given you a reason to stay
Given you a reason to stay [x3]

This is fact not fiction
For the first time in years